I know there are times when we all feel like crying. But I am at a point of crying too much. I have leaky eyes  and I don't like it this way. I feel so sad at times.  I know I can just get strong and make my self stop. But my eyes have a mind of there own at this time.

Expressing grief in art.

Art takes on a life of its own at times. It evokes the release of emotion. And some times passes it on to the viewer. Some release in words the feeling they are going though, some keep it all bottled up inside.
I did this tonight as a way of releasing my rage.  I did not share my loss this past Sept. And tonight I was told of the loss of my grandsons kitty. I keep sniffing back the tears. And yet the pain wants out. I miss my kitty. Crash is gone too. But I did not speak of it because I did not want to deal with the pain of it. But it will not go away tonight. Ebony was found dead at the front door yesterday morning.
She was a sweet kitty, she became apart of our family when Jeremy was maybe 2 or 3.  She was a lovable calico kitty. And I know Jeremy's heart is broken.  I feel his pain too.
Some people do not realize that a cat is a loved family member. And Do not realize the pain is equal to a person when they pass. I am just venting here as a way to release my feelings. I went right to painting the picture above earlier to vent my sorrow. It started out with words and scribbles till images appeared. Images were added and blended to tell a story now I will set back and see what story it tells.

I know well we are all only here for a brief time. And we bond. That is why it is so painful. Because we are first blessed with love and joy. Then sorrow and pain.
There are so many things I do not write and release. As it makes you feel vulnerable. We all keep things to our self. But really all we do is turn them into issues when we do. I find releasing them in art or words to be freeing and healing to the spirit.
  As I have come so far now on my road to what I call a free spirit. I am only bound buy a few commitments. And I will close for now. I do not want to go on to a new subject.
I close with a farewell to Crash and Ebony.

Venting and communication

Words are the root of communication. They have the power to heal, hurt, help & harm. You may say something and not mean any harm. Yet some one else takes it the wrong way. They take offense. And feel it is personally about  or regarding them. Yet you were speaking about something all together different. I have seen this happen many times over the past few years. We are so wound up from public events. Or some thing is in the air that is causing conflicts. Comments on news feeds are some times down right hateful. I am shocked as to what you might read on some news posts. For TV or political news.
But I have also seen issues in communication face to face also. Letter or emails are not exempt. Letters are some times miss-interpreted.

People are allowing emotions and judgements combined with feelings color the words. And thus change the context. Example: (I do not have time for that now.)
This looks simple and straight forward. Yet emotions and ego. says
" What did I do wrong ? He never has time for me. He don't like me any more. Etc. When simply the person is busy.
Feelings get hurt,anger boils. But till you calmly clarify as in talk it out.
If you find you are the one who feels some one's words are hurting you. You need to vent, journal. or write them a letter.  There may be real issues involved. But if you look close enough it may just be you are judging them wrongly.
There are also times when let's say the person is a drunk. And almost every thing they say makes you mad.
You can either keep it to your self because. you can not reason with a person who is intoxicated. Or you can blow up. But there seems to be a wall that can not be penetrated, till this person is rational. And that may not happen for some. I do not have the answer for this one.

I have found from dealing with drug and alcohol users in the past.
You are wasting your breath.
Yet you still try in hope of getting through to them.
But when is enough enough ?
That time is when they interfere with your life on a daily basis.

So where is this story going. Humm. I guess we all need lessons in communication.  Or behavior therapy  when a situation is out of control.  Or simple answer let it go. If it is meant to be they will be back. Or your life will go on just fine with out them.

zentangle's