Friday, October 14, 2011

Venting and communication

Words are the root of communication. They have the power to heal, hurt, help & harm. You may say something and not mean any harm. Yet some one else takes it the wrong way. They take offense. And feel it is personally about  or regarding them. Yet you were speaking about something all together different. I have seen this happen many times over the past few years. We are so wound up from public events. Or some thing is in the air that is causing conflicts. Comments on news feeds are some times down right hateful. I am shocked as to what you might read on some news posts. For TV or political news.
But I have also seen issues in communication face to face also. Letter or emails are not exempt. Letters are some times miss-interpreted.

People are allowing emotions and judgements combined with feelings color the words. And thus change the context. Example: (I do not have time for that now.)
This looks simple and straight forward. Yet emotions and ego. says
" What did I do wrong ? He never has time for me. He don't like me any more. Etc. When simply the person is busy.
Feelings get hurt,anger boils. But till you calmly clarify as in talk it out.
If you find you are the one who feels some one's words are hurting you. You need to vent, journal. or write them a letter.  There may be real issues involved. But if you look close enough it may just be you are judging them wrongly.
There are also times when let's say the person is a drunk. And almost every thing they say makes you mad.
You can either keep it to your self because. you can not reason with a person who is intoxicated. Or you can blow up. But there seems to be a wall that can not be penetrated, till this person is rational. And that may not happen for some. I do not have the answer for this one.

I have found from dealing with drug and alcohol users in the past.
You are wasting your breath.
Yet you still try in hope of getting through to them.
But when is enough enough ?
That time is when they interfere with your life on a daily basis.

So where is this story going. Humm. I guess we all need lessons in communication.  Or behavior therapy  when a situation is out of control.  Or simple answer let it go. If it is meant to be they will be back. Or your life will go on just fine with out them.

3 comments:

  1. so true, sometimes its not what is said its hows its interpreted.
    you all need to just take the time to understand and act, not react to what we think was going on.

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  2. Very complex, this communication of ours. Keep true to yourself and let others interpret the way they will.

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